hey, i'm sky.
twenty-three. east coast nomad. tree hugger.
i try my best to be optimistic,
and i'm working on saving the world.

i hear it all, breathe it all, see it all..
but for the life of me,
i can't figure it all out.

posts tagged "human"

january, april, july.
splinters.

my body and i have been growing together really nicely,
but it is a lot a lot a lot a lot of work keeping this vessel healthy, active, keeping weight on, gaining muscle.
entirely worth it. i feel almost home in this.

New tanks and t-shirts up on my merch site! Everything, including the black and white birds, are for pre-order or re-order so that I can get your size!

Click here to check out my merch! this will be one of the last times I do colorful bird shirts, as I’m moving onto new music shortly and will be focused on that :D

http://skylarkergil.bandcamp.com/merch

Anna and I have been together for over three years, having been best friends for two years before that. In a week, she will be heading off to a great job elsewhere, and in a few weeks, I’ll be heading to Cambridge, MA. We’re moving forward as just best friends - though we have done long distance before in our romantic relationship, we’re both at a time in our lives where we want and need some alone time to grow, experience new things, and discover ourselves.

This video is to show that though it can be hard, it is possible to support one another’s happiness in a relationship - sometimes, that means letting each other go. It’s absolutely mutual, and we both have known this for months coming. I will miss her as my lover, but I will forever cherish our friendship.

"If you should find some place new, I’ll be ready and I will not blame you, just follow your heart - I’ll re-write my dreams. Hold you in my hands, and send you back to see." is the only line we changed from the original version. Changed "somebody" to "some place" since that is more relevant to us now. :)


We will be releasing an audio version with more harmonies sometime soon! I will also talk more about this situation next week, when we have parted ways. Please be kind as I’m sure it can be hard to understand that we are able to do this so calmly - we are happy, we still love each other, but we are also excited for what is next.

Lyrics:
my darling don’t you worry about anything 
this will be here singing and swimming in your dreams 
and i hold you, like i hold onto the sea 
she slips through my arms sometimes but always comes back to me 

my darling in 8 million beats you’ll be gone 
but in 28 million you will be back in my arms 
and i see you in the moon, sun, and sky 
on the mountaintops where i let my body lie 

oh but if you should find yourself doubting my love 
just remember i’m yours - i can’t say it enough 
and out of all these things i say i love, well 
it’s always you i’m singing of 

my darling in 7 months i’ll still be here 
with empty arms and a smile so wide my dear 
and i’ve seen you always in my day dreams 
and i’ve saved your space so when you return, you can lay next to me 

oh but if you should find you never wanna come back 
just send me a line - i’ve got my backpack packed 
and i’ll walk to you, and bring the new day, hey 
i’ve always needed to run away 

my darling, don’t you worry about anything 
this will be here singing and swimming in your dreams 
and i hold you, like i hold onto the sea - 
she slips through my arms sometimes but always comes back to me 

oh but if you should find somebody new 
i’ll be ready and i will not blame you 
just follow your heart - i’ll rewrite my dreams 
hold you in my hands, then send you back to sea

Care to join me on my Monday morning?

strange phone survey!

i just took the strangest phone survey. note: i saw this weird NYC area code number had called me the past few days, but not left a message - so when i saw they called me again, i knew it was probably a telemarketer. let me highlight some great moments for you:

- i talked in a british accent at the beginning and then did the entire time. at one point, he began to talk like me hahaha.
- first question was “do you know what Carmax is?” “do you know what Carmax does?”
- second question was “would you rather go on a picnic with Obama, the kardashians… etc”
- third question he said “changing subjects.” then asked me about basketball, then when I said i was appalled at Donald Sterling’s remarks he asked if a reporter can call me to follow up?
- at one point he asked if i was the male head of household to which i responded “it depends how far back you go if you go to my birth certificate.”
- at one point he asked how many people lived in my household. i said three. he said the cat doesn’t count as a person.
- he said “changing subjects” again and asked me if i think lesbians and gays should be allowed to be married. I said it’s ridiculous to even ask a conscious person that.
- again he said “changing subjects” and asked me if i think immigrants should be allowed in this country. i said yes please and thank you.
- i asked him what this survey was for and he wouldn’t tell me.
- he asked for my zip code and i said, in my lovely fake british accent, “do i have to answer this? will you murder me?” and for the first time, he left his script to say “no we will not murder you.”
- maintained fake british accent the whole time for fifteen minutes.
- expect another update since i imagine they will be calling back.

one of the first selfies I ever took and one from today.2008 vs 2014.:)

one of the first selfies I ever took and one from today.
2008 vs 2014.
:)

self portrait and poem 4/15/14 at 8:04AMa rainy morning accuracyi’d give anything to see yousleep evade, i wither each day.it feels more like shedding skin,to say i’m on the road to hitting bottomto scratch that surface,i wake up with scratcheshalf dreams of letting what’s withinyou out of me.

self portrait and poem 4/15/14 at 8:04AM

a rainy morning accuracy
i’d give anything to see you
sleep evade, i wither each day.

it feels more like shedding skin,
to say i’m on the road to hitting bottom
to scratch that surface,
i wake up with scratches
half dreams of letting what’s within
you out of me.

Relapse/Flux - a spoken word poem about a brother, addiction, and recovery.

TW: violence, drugs, alcohol, word usage.

Happy Siblings Day, big brother. We were cute when we were younger.. maybe we will be again when we are older? ;)

Self Portrait 3/30/14.

Self Portrait 3/30/14.

two self portraits that are exactly the same - except i microwaved the second one.

just cos. feeling sideways, in a good way.

every now and again, i try to take some serious self portraits.

(i don’t really know why, since i never look this serious, so really, this isn’t even me…)

Showin up to the club like ‘waddup i got a big cat.’

(tiger and i felt fierce today)

Two Texts from My Dad.

At first, in my transition, my dad wasn’t the most supportive. I mean, he loved me, but he just didn’t really understand. It took him longer with my name and pronouns, since my parents were divorced and I only saw him every few months, but now he is one of my biggest supporters.

We’ve gone from pre my physical transition in 2008 - where I would sit in a diner with my dad, and the waitress would say ‘how can i help you gentlemen?’ and my dad cringing awkwardly - to now, where he complains that I don’t mention him enough in my YouTube videos. Here’s to you dad, because I love you incredibly, and you have changed my world for the better.

My dad is new at texting, so he doesn’t do it very much but when he does, it usually is something really important. Never just a ‘hey whats up’ - nope, he goes deep. So recently, he has been catching up on my youtube videos. I got these about two days apart, and they made me melt.

Two texts from the best dad ever:

#1 was after he watched my ‘Boring Life Update’ video"Hey Goomba, love you. Caught your last few videos, really liked. But, do me a favor, don’t ever title "boring life" update. If anything, and maybe you don’t know it, you haven’t had a boring life. Luvya."

#2 was after he watched my 'How I Chose My Name' video"Saw your most recent vid on uTube. Preston Tucker created a car in 1948 that was revolutionary. This was the year before I was even born. I absolutely loved that car. I mentioned it numerous times when you and JT were young. In fact, we all watched the movie “Tucker” together in our home in Brewster New York. Still have it on disc. I’m sure, whether you know it or not, that had something to do with it. We are all a compendium of everything we have seen, heard, or learned… In that order. You were young. There will be things that I know that you don’t. But it’s all good! Luvya Goomba!”

I can’t decide if I like white or black more for my new shirts… ah!

Well hey, if you’d like one, head on over here to investigate!

And if you do not see your size available (I can do youth sizes, as well as 2X and 3X) shoot me an email to skylarkeleven@gmail.com before March 20th and I will order it for you to have it by mid-April. Win-win!!!